


Dead Men Can't Love

by ConstantCacoethes



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, Canon Era, Canon Universe, Drabble, M/M, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-10
Updated: 2017-11-10
Packaged: 2019-01-31 09:02:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12678696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ConstantCacoethes/pseuds/ConstantCacoethes
Summary: Levi and Eren loved each other.





	Dead Men Can't Love

**Author's Note:**

> This was just a quick thing I wrote. I spent... like... half-an-hour on it? XD
> 
> I sincerely apologize for any mistakes. Don't be afraid to point them out in the comments.
> 
> Also, my Tumblr is zamiraruth.
> 
> Warning: Non-graphic self-harm, mention of suicidal thoughts

** I. **

The first time Levi saw him, he didn't realize he did.

Really, you can't blame him. The scene was chaos—a breached wall, closed off with a boulder, which he'd just seen a titan carry—and he was more focused on finding out what the fuck was going on than looking at the kids in front of him.

** II. **

The second time Levi saw him, he recognized him.

Pitied him, too. After all, he was chained up and useless—probably was, too, before they'd discovered his titan powers—and Levi said his name for the first time. "Eren," he'd said, the name foreign and beautiful; Erwin glanced at him when he said it, and Levi glanced back, his glare far from wavering. "You said his name was Eren."

Erwin nodded.

**III** **.**

A few hours later, he saw the kid's eyes.

They were turquoise and emotional and  _oh-so-beautiful,_ but Levi didn't care to notice. After all, he was here for a job; he was to claim responsibility of him, not befriend him. So, he ignored the look of admiration in the brat's eyes and spent the time scrutinizing him.

**IV.**

He realized the brat was strong during their first experiment.

It failed, of course. Levi hadn't been surprised. After all, they knew nothing of Eren's abilities; just knew they might end up helping them. Of course, the captain had been skeptical of that from the beginning; not because he didn't trust the kid, but because he didn't trust himself to hope. After all, the world was cruel; one day, Eren too would be just another dead body.

And when Levi looked at Eren's mutilated hands, he knew for a  _fact_ he'd live a short life.

Levi decided he didn't want to care for the kid.

**V.**

He started caring for him a few minutes later.

Levi was drinking his tea in peace, listening to Petra's chatter, when Eren transformed. He only realized what happened when he turned around to find Gunther, Eld, and Oluo pulling their swords out, with Petra following close behind. And before he could stop himself, he was running forward, placing himself between his squad and the brat.

God, he was  _screwed._

**VI.**

Eren and Levi were the only ones left after the kid's first expedition.

The only ones left of their squad, that is. Luckily, there were still many other scouts living; unluckily, none of them were Petra, Oluo, Eld, or Gunther. Eren had gone from crying to hauntingly quiet, and it was unnerving. It was  _worrying._ And God, Levi did  _not_ want to be worried about him.

He was, anyways.

**VII.**

Levi reformed his squad a few weeks later.

He was pleased to see that they worked well together; upon further inquiry, he discovered they were close as cadets. Of course, Eren and Kirstein still bickered rather frequently, but he found himself caring for them far too much to be safe.

And then, two of them were gone.

**VIII.**

Levi realized he had feelings for Eren the day they were reunited.

He'd never admit it, of course, but he'd been horrified of losing Historia and Eren. He'd grown close to them. Started  _trusting_ them. And when he thought that he'd never see the light of day again, he couldn't help how much he hated himself. How he regretted never doing more with the kids. Especially Eren.

And then they lived, and Levi never wanted to feel that regret again.

**IX.**

"Eren," he said one night, when the boy was being particularly quiet. "You look constipated."

The kid looked up far too slow for someone as young as him. The kid's smile was far too sad for someone as bright as him.  _Why,_ Levi thought,  _is the world so keen on destroying him?_

"I didn't know you were awake, Captain," Eren responded.

Levi sat down beside him.

"You can call me Levi," he said, his voice smooth despite how hard it was to tell him that. "As long as we're alone."

Eren watched him with curiosity, thoroughly surprised by the statement. In the end, though, he settled with a gentle, "Okay."

And then, they considered each other friends.

**X.**

One day, Eren didn't come to breakfast.

Levi noticed, of course. And when he didn't show up for training, Levi decided something was going on. He went to seek him out after he'd told his squad where he was headed.

He found Eren in the only vacant room.

"Eren?" He'd said, once the door was open. He could tell, from the smell and the lack of light, that the room was dusty. He could see an outline of who he assumed was Eren—could hear tears he assumed were Eren's—so he took a step forward to comfort the kid. "What are you doing?"

He learned, after practically dragging the brat into the light, that he'd started mutilating himself in his free-time.

**XI.**

"Why?" He'd asked, once the kid's wounds were dressed and his sobs had ceased. Levi had led them back to his own quarters—he didn't want interruptions, after all—and he was virtually certain Eren didn't, either.

"I just..." Eren started, sniffling, and Levi reached out to hand him a handkerchief. "I wanted to punish myself."

Levi hesitated. He wasn’t sure how to do this. Wasn't sure how to talk about feelings. But he wanted to help, wanted to  _understand_ , so he just asked it again.

"Why?"

He learned, then, that the kid had begged for death while beneath the chapel. And Levi hated himself, for being a bit too late, for letting Eren get so broken. He opened his mouth, to tell him how much he cared, because he never wanted him to feel so alone ever again.

No words came out.

**XII.**

Hanji put Eren under supervision after he hurt himself.

Levi, of course, did most of the supervising. After all, he  _did_ claim responsibility for him. He was glad to spend more time with the kid, upset with the fact he wanted to spend time with the kid, and hated the reason he had to spend time with the kid.

On the upside, though, they were able to share tea each afternoon.

They continued the routine even after the supervision ended.

**XIII.**

Levi confessed his feelings two nights before they left for Shiganshina.

He didn’t confess, though; really, he just kissed him. Decided he wasn't about to lose the kid without telling him how he felt. And it was stupid—humiliating, really—how happy he felt when he kissed back.

If Levi wasn't going to Hell before, he definitely was now.

**XIV.**

One night, two weeks after the Battle of Shiganshina, Eren told Levi about the ocean.

Levi told Eren about the Underground.

 

**XV.**

They both lost their virginity the next day.

Eren cried—not of sadness, of course—and Levi kissed the tears away. Levi put his hand on Eren's heart, as they slotted against each other, and began to understand why Eren cried.

"I love you," Eren said then.

And Levi loved him too.


End file.
